


Snowy Tears

by Kaiyo_no_Hime



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Gen, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-07-10
Updated: 2001-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26627065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiyo_no_Hime/pseuds/Kaiyo_no_Hime
Summary: Heero's daughter goes out into a blinding blizzard to find him, only to become lost herself
Kudos: 1





	Snowy Tears

"I don't care!" Heero shouted at his wife. The little girl hid in the hallway, tears streaming down her face.

"You should! Why did I even bother marrying you!?" Relena shouted back, running out of the dimly lit living room, and into their, no, her room.

"Why did I ever bother marrying you!" Heero shouted after her. He grabbed his dark navy blue jacket off the coat rack and slamming the front door as he stomped out of the house. No one noticed the five year curled up in a ball, crying in a dark corner, in a dark hallway.

"Papa shouldn't shout at Mama. Mama shouldn't shout at Papa. Papa shouldn't shout at Mama. Mama shouldn't shout at Papa..." the little girl kept repeating the two phrases, as if they were a prayer. But nothing magical was happening. Her Mother was still crying behind a bedroom door, and her Father's jacket was still not on its hook.

The little girl stood up, wiping the tears off her face, and the dust off her red dress. Her pale features offset her chestnut hair, and violet eyes. She stumbled down the hallway, and reached on her tip toe for the hat and jacket on the lowest peg. Her red coat and purple beret. After a few minutes of jumping, she knocked them off the wooden peg, and had put them on, the buttons crooked, the beret flop sided.

"Mama? Mama?" the child asked the closed door softly. There was no answer, Relena had cried herself to sleep. The girl shook her head, and opened the door, stepping into the softly falling snow and the chill December wind. The door was slammed shut behind her, and the child was on her own.

She braved her way down the sidewalk, grabbing her hat lest it blow away. It was near evening, the temperatures were dropping fast, and the little girl had no idea where to go. No idea where she was. The snow storm was reaching blizzard levels, and she was lost.

"Papa! Papa!" the little girl yelled. Before, whenever something had happened, all she had ever had to do was yell his name, and he was there. But this time, her Papa didn't come running. No body came running, but the bells of the cathedral nearby started to ring.

She had no where else to go, she couldn't feel her fingers anymore. But the church was warm and bright, and nearby. She smiled, and ran toward the large stone structure. The bells finished tolling eight. It was dark now, and the snow was falling harder. The tiny child pushed the door opened, and slipped into the evening mass, the door closing loudly behind her.

"My, you are a brave little girl. Imagine going out in that snow storm all by yourself!" an old woman whispered to her as she slipped into a pew, her dirty black shoes dangling above the floor.

"I was looking for my Papa." the little girl said, smiling up at the friendly old grandmother. "I think he's lost." the old woman chuckled.

"Well, this is the best place to come if you're lost." the old woman whispered. The mass was ending, and people were filing out, in a hurry to escape from one building to the next. Only the old woman and the little girl were left, in the back pew of a drafty old church.

"Why is that? Do you think Papa knows his way home from here?" the little girl asked. The old woman smiled.

"Everyone knows his way from God's House, little one." the old woman's voice was soft and pleasant. She took the child's hand, and walked her up the aisle, to the statue of the Crucifix.

"I don't. I don't even know where God's House is." the child mumbled the last sentence, thinking that she should be ashamed. She looked up in surprise as the old lady burst out in laughter.

"Why, child, this is God's House." she looked down at the child, her laughter cut off by concern. "You really are lost, aren't you?" The little girl nodded.

"I went looking for Papa. Papa shouldn't shout at Mama. Mama shouldn't shout at Papa." the girl said simply in a child serious tone. The old woman smiled sadly, and nodded.

"You are right, parents should never shout at each other. Now," the old woman knelt down to eye level with the little girl, her shabby wool jacket brushing the floor, "if we are to find your Papa, we have to know your name too. Do you know your name?" The child giggled, and nodded.

"My name is Anitra!" the little girl giggled. The old woman nodded seriously.

"Do you know your last name?"

"Last name? My name is Anitra. But Papa sometimes calls me Duet." Anitra answered innocently. She didn't see the priest come up from behind, but turned to see when he settled a hand on her shoulder.

"Father Maxwell! Perhaps you can be of some help, this little girl is lost, and is looking for her Papa." the old woman smiled. Father Maxwell nodded his head, and looked down at the child with his friendly gray tinted violet eyes.

"Yes, of course. I'll take care of everything. You should head home, Kai, the storm is getting worse, and you don't want to be caught outside!" the man in the long black gown laughed, his dimples showing. Anitra smiled up at him, liking the twinkle in his eye.

"Yes, thank you. I hope you find your Papa, Anitra." the old woman smiled, and walked out of the church, leaving Father Maxwell alone with tiny Anitra.

"So, Anitra, what does your Papa look like, maybe I know him, or of him." Father Maxwell picked the child up, and sat her down in the front pew. He noticed her uneven button job, and buttoned the jacket correctly.

"Papa is really tall. And his hair is really messy, cause he never combs it!" Anitra giggled as Father Maxwell ruffled his own bangs, though his long braid still trailed out the back of his head.

"What color is his hair? Do you know your Papa's name?" Father Maxwell asked with a grin, listening to the groaning timbers above. Anitra giggled nervously as the wind shrieked through the rafters above.

"Papa's hair is brown. And his name is Papa!" Anitra giggled at the thought of her Papa being something other than Papa.

"Ahhh... his name is Papa, is it? But did anyone ever call him anything but Papa?" Maxwell prodded. The girl chewed on a sleeve for a second, and them jumped up.

"Yeah. Papa's friend, the one with yellow hair, came over last week. He called Papa Heero! I told him that Papa's name was Papa, and he laughed at me! I told him he was mean, and he gave me a piece of candy, so he's nice now." Anitra said, the semi-grim look on her face making Duo laugh, but her Papa's name did not.

"So, you're Relena's little girl, are you? I always wondered what you looked like. It seems your Papa did a good job raising you." Maxwell commented, more to himself than the little girl. Anitra looked at him.

"Who's Relena? You know Papa? Do you know where he is?!" the child demanded, skipping over to the priest. Duo patted her head lovingly.

"Relena is your Mama. And yes, I did know your Papa, but I don't know where he is. I can get you back home, where you belong, though. Your Papa is probably there, worried sick about you." Duo clucked sadly, walking over to a telephone, behind the alter. Anitra followed him, hoping all the while that he could find her Papa. Father Maxwell dialed the number from his memory.

"Hello? Relena?" Maxwell asked worriedly. He looked down at the twinkling eyed child, seeing the family resemblance. "It's me, Duo."

"Oh God, Duo! Heero left me! He threw away our entire marriage with the slam of a door! What am I going to do!? What am I going to do?" Relena sobbed on the other end of the telephone. Duo felt sympathy and disgust rip through his heart. He put his hand over the speaker, and whispered to Anitra.

"Anitra, do you know how to pray?" the little girl nodded with a smile. "Then why don't you go and pray for your Papa. I'm sure he would like that." Anitra nodded, and skipped over to the alter, and began praying happily, looking more at the lit candles than actually concentrating.

"Duo?" Relena asked, her voice full of tears.

"Did Heero take anything with him? Anything at all?" Duo asked politely, hoping that she would say yes, Heero took Anitra with him. Relena didn't say that.

"All he took was his jacket. He didn't touch anything else. He just said he regretted marrying me, and left. Duo, do you know where he is? Is he all right!?" Relena sniffed, Duo feeling his anger growing. It took all his strength to keep his voice low.

"Relena, you fool! You disgust me! If I were Heero, I would have walked out on you a long time ago, and taken more than Heero did!" Duo spat, seeing red. He looked over at Anitra, who looked like a tiny angel, her head bowed in the candle light.

"Duo! Please! What did I say? What's wrong? Is Heero there?" Relena asked, a barrage of tears streaming down her face. Duo glared at the phone, wondering why he had not done something sooner, why Heero hadn't done something. There was a noise on Relena's end of the phone, and it dropped to the floor.

"Relena, are you..." Duo trailed off as he heard her shouting joyfully in the background.

"Heero! You're back! I missed you, I missed you so much! Heero? What are you doing?" Relena was talking in the background. Someone picked the phone off the floor.

"Who is this?" Heero demanded. Duo looked over at his daughter, and sighed.

"It's Duo. Relena said you had deserted her, what made you come back? I would have stayed away." Duo said, feeling Heero's innate hatred of him through the phone.

"I came back for something important." Heero grunted. Duo heard him opening doors, and walking around. Then there was more shouting.

"Relena! Where's Duet!" Heero shouted. A tear streamed down Duo's cheek. Heero was a good Papa, after all.

"Who? Anitra? I don't know. In her room, I guess." Relena said. Duo heard Heero's grip tighten on the phone.

"Relena! Why should I bother staying with you if you don't even know where your own daughter is! She could be in that blizzard, her coat is missing! And you aren't even worried!" Heero roared. Relena sobbed again in the background.

"I'm sorry Heero. But when you left... But you're back now, and she'll come back, and everything will be fine. As long as you're here, everything will be fine." Relena said, her voice chipper. Duo heard a fist slam into a wall, and took a guess that the wall was now broken.

"Heero, she's at the church on Nozomi Way. She went out into the storm looking for you." Duo looked over to where Anitra had been last. She wasn't there anymore. The church front door slammed shut, and Duo turned white with fright. Anitra, Duet, had ventured out into the storm again.

"Oh God!" Duo whispered.

"Duo! What's wrong?! Is she okay?! So help me, if she's hurt...!" Heero trailed off, his threat having no need.

"Heero, run over here! She must have heard me say your name, she went back outside!" Duo heard Heero swear, and drop the phone. Relena screamed in the background, and a door slammed. Heero was on his way over to the church.

"Hurry Heero, please hurry." Duo hung up the phone. And began pacing…

Anitra wandered down the street, the wind trying to push her over, the white snow stinging across her face. She began to cry. She stumbled into a snow drift, and curled up in a ball, trying to escape the stinging cold.

"Papa... Papa..." Anitra sighed. She got up, and tried walking back to the church. But, the blinding haze confused her, and the wind grew in strength. She felt herself lose balance, and go rolling, slamming into something cold and hard. She whimpered, her coat ripping, and blood began to trickle from her side. Anitra cried as she tried moving her broken arm, causing the bone to rip through skin and flesh. Red began to stain the white snow.

"Papa! Papa! I want my Papa!" Anitra wailed, sitting down, feeling very tired. Blood continued to flow…

"Duo! How could you let her out of your sight for one second! All you had to do was tell me where she was! But no, like always, you were irresponsible! You couldn't even keep my daughter in one spot for five minutes!" Heero shouted, slamming his fist into Duo's face. Duo stumbled back a step, but made no move to return the blow.

"I'm sorry Heero! Don't you think I'm tearing myself up inside! She is my daughter too!" Duo shouted. Heero growled angrily, hating to be reminded of what Duo and Relena had done five years earlier.

"Then why are we still here! If we don't find her, she could freeze to death, or worse..." Heero felt a chill go up his spine at the thought of his daughter in the freezing snow, dead.

"You really call her Duet?" Duo asked as they started down the street, their flashlights next to useless. Heero smirked.

"Yeah. I figured that was what you were going to name her, if you had dared show your cowardly head!" Heero chuckled, and Duo nearly fell down in surprise.

"You don't sound so mad about it. I thought you would kill me first, then going looking for her!" Duo laughed, sweeping the flashlight around.

"Why? I figure that anyone that desperate deserved what he got!" Heero burst out in full laughter.

"Jeez, thanks. You make it sound like I had no other choices! Sorry for not claiming the kid. I should have done that, and left you two to shout things out." Duo said sadly, he spotted something red to his left side, and nudged Heero. Heero nodded.

'The only thing keeping me in that house for that long was Duet. But, she had a really bad nightmare a few nights ago. I was arranging things with Quatre, getting my own house, looking over divorce stuff. I was going to pull her out of that house as fast as I... Oh God! Duet!" Heero screamed, running over to the fallen figure. She was laying in a puddle of her own slushy blood. Duo looked around for a phone, anything he could, to call for help.

"Oh God, Duet! Duet, please be alive! Don't die, Papa's here now. Everythings going to be okay, Papa's here now!" Heero sobbed, cuddling the tiny figure in his arms. He pulled out a cellphone, and dialed three numbers. Nine One One.

"Oh Papa! I knew I'd find you. Father Maxwell was talking to you. I was going to go home to find you..." Anitra sighed, snuggling closer to Heero. Heero sobbed, and waited for the ambulance. Duo looked on, waiting to signal down the ambulance. He looked over at Heero and Duet, and began to cry. He should have been the one comforting her, not Heero. Not Heero.

The siren cried as it rushed around the corner, skidding by Duo, and to a slippery stop. Heero stood up, and ran over to the medics, handing them the child. Tears rolled down his face as one of them looked at her, a sorrowful look passing over his face.

"Come on, one of you in, now!" the med. shouted. Heero looked over at Duo, and jumped into the ambulance. It wailed itself away, toward the hospital, leaving a sobbing Duo walking slowly after it.

"Heero? Heero, how is she?" Duo asked. Heero sat up, sleep and tears in his eyes. He looked up at Duo.

"She's been in surgery for three hours. They're... they're not sure she'll make it." Heero began crying again, and Duo patted his shoulder, sitting down next to him.

"Did you call Relena? She... she should be here." Duo sighed. Heero looked up at his old enemy, new friend.

"She said that the snow was too heavy for her to try venturing into!" Heero spat anger at the thought of Relena. Duo cracked his knuckles harshly, people looking at him nervously.

"Mr. Yuy? She's come out of surgery..." the doctor approached Heero. Heero stood up suddenly, fright written plainly in his eyes, tears streaming downward.

"Is she going to be all right!?" Heero demanded, Duo more than a little anxious in the background. The doctors mouth wavered in a smile, but he nodded.

"She'll be fine... but..." the doctor trailed on, unable to say anything more.

"But what!?" Heero growled. The thought of his daughter, his innocent little angel, laying in a hospital bed, dying, was nearly too much for him.

"She won't be the same. Whatever it was that sliced her did a good job. Her heart was damaged. She won't be running around or playing anymore, unless you can get a donor. But the odds of that are astronomical..." the doctor was cut off as Heero lunged forward, grabbing the doctor by the collar. Duo put his hand on Heero's shoulder, more to give Heero the idea of restraint than actual physical restraint.

"Heero, it's not his fault." Duo whispered sadly, tears running from his eyes.

"Take my heart!" Heero growled at the doctor. The doctor and Duo both stood still, stunned in silence. He set the doctor down, his eyes begging for that one last mercy. The doctor looked skeptical.

"I couldn't sentence you to death. And besides, you may not even be compatible. The odds that you are are larger, since you are her Father, but still, it's too risky..." the doctor swallowed hard, seeing the fury in Heero's eyes.

"Then check to see if I'm compatible! My daughter is not going to die!" Heero whispered, his every word burning with the fires of the very pits themselves. Duo swallowed hard as well, he knew how determined Heero could be.

"Very well, but I shant be doing any surgery that will kill, no matter how much you care for your daughter." the doctor squeaked, Heero's intimidation working as he had planned. Heero nodded, and followed the doctor into a room, closing the door behind them. Duo sighed, collapsing into a chair, sobbing.

"Mr. Maxwell, your friend Heero has requested to see you." a nurse approached the sleeping Duo. Duo stood up sleepily, and followed her into the same room Heero had disappeared into earlier. His braid was unraveling after resting his tired head against the wooden hand rest. Heero was laying on a bed, tubes running through his veins.

"Heero?" Duo asked, stepping carefully into the room, Heero had tear streaks dried against his skin.

"Yeah, I know. Full pull out. I go into surgery soon, Duet isn't going to die while I'm here." Heero growled, looking out the window. The blizzard was still swirling outside, darkness set off by white tears.

"You're going to give up your life for hers? Heero, you truly are her father." Duo whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. Heero smiled, shaking his head.

"No, I'm only her Papa, you're her Father. Take care of her for me. Please." Duo looked away from his friends eyes, and nodded. He couldn't refuse Heero this last request, no matter how hard it would be.

"I can't be as good as you were Heero, but I'll try! I really will..." Duo sighed, sorrow dripping from his voice. He could barely contain it.

"Don't try to be me, Duo, try to be her Papa." Heero said softly, his eyes closing, the pain medication for the surgery kicking in. "Take care of her for me…"

"I promise." Duo began crying, tears flowing freely from his violet eyes, now crimson stained.

"I want my Papa!" Duet said quietly when Duo visited her after the surgery. She would live, and make a full recovery, but Heero, poor Heero, would never see the light of day again. He had died in a quiet blizzard, the white tears falling in vain.

"You'll always have your Papa in your heart." Duo smiled, looking at his daughter in a new light, tears rolling down his cheeks...


End file.
